~Change~

You can change your hair color

You can change your home décor

You can change your friends

You can change your clothes

You can change your underwear

You can change when you fall asleep

You can change when you wake up

You can change what book you want to read

You can change the CD in your stereo

You can change the picture on your desk top

You can change when you eat breakfast

Change seems so easy until you realize it’s not always about changing your underwear or changing the CD in your car stereo that is when it becomes hard.

 

My life is change right now.

 

I have a month a half left of school

 

10 days after grad I get married

As of May 10th  I’ll be Jessica Gowan

Where I’ll working or what I’ll doing….. don’t know yet.

 

Am I complaining? Not at all. I guess the real truth to all of this is… we are never truly away from change and the reality is we need to accept it whether we like or not.
I am very excited about everything even during the hard times when I don’t like the idea of change.

 

If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.  ~Author Unknown
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.  ~Victor Frankl

~Mindless Generation X~

What do the people of this generation enjoy doing the most? Easy, people love doing things that do not involve much thinking. These generations of people are mindless thinkers they love doing things if it means they don’t need to think. Why do you think there is such a high addiction to the internet? Because it’s so mindless. This generation does not know of issues that are going on around them. It’s a lazy people they will give lame excuses saying they don’t want to read the paper or be bothered to listen to the news. They would rather spend time doing thing that satisfy themselves.

I am not attacking a set people but I am only writing this to point out the facts of what we are. Lazy, mindless, and we cannot think for ourselves.

It bothers me to see so many people doing things only because they are following another crowd. Naturally they cannot think for themselves. I have talked about this with number of different people and they see how sick this generation has become. How addicted we are to facebook, myspace, msn, text messaging. Look around people! Are you ever not wired up to technology? Look at our parents. The baby bombers, most of them are just discovering technology now and still are not that thrilled about it. They would much rather sit somewhere and read a book. For this reason I wish I was born in the baby boomer generation.

I am not about to tell you that I am not addicted to the internet, or I don’t watch a lot of T.V, I would be lying if I said that. I am disgusted with my own actions and my own life style and what I have followed year after year.

Look around. How are many young people today vote? Not many. This is because we do not this to the news, read the paper and we do not let ourselves learn about our government. Now do not get me wrong. There are many young people of this generation who are very well educated in knowing things about our government, but the majority of us don’t.

We are the next generation. If we want to do something for our country we need to move now. We need to get off our butts and move. We need to learn now. We need to educate ourselves now. Think about how our country might turn out if our generation keeps up with what we are doing. If we want change in this country then we need to do something about it. We need to shake off this mindless attitude from ourselves and be a generation of action taking.

Come on Canada rise up! It’s time to be the vast army God is calling us out to be. Rise up Church of Canada!  Shake off death, shake off distractions, shake off worldly desires, shake off loneliness, shake off anger, shake off jealousy, shake off everything and be the people God first commanded us to be.

  

~ Picture of Jesus~

This is an old song but I really like. I want to be an imitator of Jesus. I want be a picture of Jesus. Just like a little boy and his father playing simon says. I want to be just like my Father.

Picture of Jesus – Ben Harper

It hangs above my altar
Like they hung him from a cross
I keep one in my wallet
For the times I feel lost
I feel lost
In a wooden frame with splinters
Where my family kneels to pray
And if you listen close
You’ll hear the words he used to say

I’ve got a picture of Jesus
In his arms so many prayers rest
We’ve got a picture of Jesus
And with him we shall be forever blessed
Forever blessed
Forever blessed

Now it has been spoken
He would come again
But would we recognize
This king among men
There was a man in our time
His words shine bright like the sun
He tried to lift the masses
And was crucified by gun

He was a picture of Jesus
With him so many prayers rest
He is a picture of Jesus
In his arms so many prayers
So many prayers
So many prayers rest
With him we shall be forever blessed
Forever blessed
Forever blessed

Some days have no beginning
And some days have no end
Some roads are straight and narrow
And some roads only bend
So let us say a prayer
For every living thing
Walking towards a light
From the cross of a king
We long to be a picture of Jesus
Of Jesus
In his arms
In his arms so many prayers rest
I long to be a picture of Jesus
With him we shall be forever blessed
With him we shall
With him we shall be forever blessed
Oh- Oh- I long
I’ve got a picture of Jesus
Mmhh

What does your picture of Jesus look like?

~Pictures~

These are some photos I have taken over the years that I have come to like. I just thought I would share them with you. Enjoy.

~ A Cup of Coffee and a Blank Piece of Paper~

I have found lately all I want to do is sit in café with a hot cup of coffee and write. As I sit there words, feelings, and emotions would come to mind. What would I write about? I don’t know maybe something fictional or something true, something real. Who knows? My point is all I want to do is write. If I cannot find time to write, I would love to sit on a bench outside and read a book for myself. So often all I have been reading is text books. I would love to sit somewhere away from the business of life and read or write for myself.

It’s a cold late February morning. There is snow and slush everywhere. I guess that is expected when you choose to live in the Maritimes. One thing I can say is I look forward to moving out west where snow is almost non-existent. I look forward to new surroundings, new adventures, a new house mate (Christian), new people to meet. I look forward it all. I am very excited!

Yet there another side of me that is feeling sad because I know I am feeling leaving all of my comfortable surroundings, I am going miss the people I have known for years, I going to miss the family feeling about the Maritimes. I am going to miss the authenticity of it, I am going to miss cold winters, I am going to miss kitchen parties, and I am to going miss everything about the Maritimes.

I have mentioned this to a couple of people before and they have said to me don’t worry Jess you are going to love it out there. I do not doubt one bit that I will love it. The thing that is going to be hard for me is that I am entering into a place where I do not know anyone expect Christian. I am not going to be able to just walk next door and hang out with Jen Fry, or drive home for the weekend and see Jen Mac. I am realizing that it is going to take me a while before I feel comfortable there and find good solid friends.

In all my feelings about leaving I look ahead to see this exciting and wonderful future with Christian. I am happy I am entering this time of my life with him. I am happy I am going out west with him. I am happy for this change in my life………WEST COAST HERE I COME!! Spring is almost here and I am eagerly waiting to see DRY grass on the ground. I am eager for warm sunshine and the sound of birds singing.

~If You Were an Icon….~

I have been thinking a lot lately. What have I been thinking about? The Church, Christians, school work, excited about getting married….

I have thinking about a lot of different things. I realized that for anyone who is not a christian and reads my blogs…..they would probably think I am a nut case for Jesus. I have come to accept that and know I am ok with whatever people choose to think of me. I have been told that I am a weirdo, nut case, Jesus freak, off the wall, and whacked out all because I am a christian and I love Jesus and I love writing about Him. If you are not a christian and you have been reading my stuff and have found them offensive or whacked out….well … I am sorry I am not going to stop writing about the love that burns so deeply inside of me.

What has been bugging me lately? Is what non-christiana think about God or His church. I mean ya… some of the things they see about the church are true….but does that mean they should shut off everything to do with it. It’s hard for me to understand because I stand in a totally different place then they do. I have a relationship with Christ. My heart breaks for them. My heart breaks for God’s church. I pray that God’s church would rise up to be that vast army of God it should be.

Church of Canada rise up! We are doing a horrible job at representing Christ to this world. Why do you think non-christians are turned off at coming to worship on a Sunday morning? Because they believe “church” is all about rules and guidelines. What they do not know is that Jesus doesn’t care about what you DO he cares about our heart. He wants our heart more than the things we choose to DO. Yes Jesus does love seeing us do things for him but before he sees us do things for him he wants to see where our heart is.

If I sound angry…I am. I have a holy angry burning inside of me. I feel so broken for the church and for all the unbelievers. GAAAHHHHHHHH I wish I could express what I am feeling right now.

Here is a question to think about….I was in class today and my teacher asked this question: If you were a computer icon what you look like?

Think about it…
I know it’s kind of funny… but it made me think .. how do I represent myself. If someone had to pick a computer icon for me what would they pick?

~Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS~

Philippians 4:4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I think these verses are verse we pass by alot or just leave them because we hear them so many times. The other night I was laying in my bed praying and God laid Philippians 4:4 on my heart and I knew with out going to my Bible, so I began to say it outloud. But all day I had that verse running through my head. So finially I looked it up to see the rest of the verses around it. I felt God speaking so directly at perfect time to me. It is always amazing how God speaks to us through His Word. So I have decided to re- read Philippians. God is so good!

~Dreams~

Dreams, we all have dreams of things we would like to do or try to do.
Some of mine are:

Taking ballet lessons again
Learning how to play the piano
Taking voice lessons again
Going rock climbing
Going back to Quebec to live or visit Going sailing
Learn how to play the guitar

I believe my dreams will come true with all of God’s help. He will strengthen me and teach me how to do it all.

These were just some things that were running through my head, I just thought I would share them with you.

What are some of your dreams?

~Words~

Are there words that really bother you when someone speaks them?

There are defiantly words that make feel sick inside when I hear people use them. I wish I could explain how much it makes me hurt when I hear certain words. I believe this something God is doing inside of me.

I have been thinking about it a lot lately. Why am I bothered my certain words? Then God brought this to my mind.

2 Corinthians 10:4-6
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

The bolded text is what spoke to me. He said take every thought captive and make it obedient to me.

Maybe I sound too serious and I need to settle down. The truth is, is this is something that has been on my heart for a long time and I am choosing to stand on guard and take every word and thought captive in obedience of the Lord. Also when I hear someone calling me something that I do not agree with, I’ll be sure to let that person know. I know you might think it sounds lame. But there are certain words when I hear people use them they make me so angry when I hear people using them.

Why are we so quick to say negative words toward someone but slower to encourage them?

I have heard this saying over and over again before that it takes 10 words of encouragement to make up to for one discouraging word. This is true in many circumstances.

Basically I want my words to demonstrate Christ and who He is. I want people to see who Christ through my own language. It’s so easy for people including myself to fall into a place where we have ‘filthy talk’.

What is filthy talk? I am not the person to say what it is or is not. That is something for everyone to discern in their own lives. Filthy talk is something different for everyone.

Please do not get the impression that I do say anything bad or my thoughts are always good. That would be a lie. I struggle with this as much as many people do. But I want to try hard to watch what I say and think. There are days where I cannot think straight and my mind is consumed by thoughts of the world. Then I am reminded that God says my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I give over everything that is on mind and release it to Him. God is so great! He cares for us so much. Thank you Jesus!

Hebrews 3:1-3
Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.

I am sorry if I haven’t made any sense I just really needed to express myself. If you do understand what I mean or what I am saying that is ok.

Encourage one another and build each other up in the name of the Lord.

~The Smell of God~

Last night Jen came over to my house. We hung out for a while and then we began to pray. In that time of praying I have felt anything so peaceful in my life before. Both Jen and I felt a thick presence of the Lord among us. It was a quite time of prayer. We just sitting or laying down and soaking and talking to God as things came to mind.

I was lying on my stomach and as soon as I sat up I felt this aroma hit my nose. I looked at Jen and I knew she smelt it as well. It was like the smell of spring and a wood smell and then mixed in was a perfume smell. We were experiencing the aroma of the Lord. We were both smiling and just laying there quietly breathing in this beautiful smell of the Lord. I have never experienced anything like this. It was amazing. I felt so much peace. I wish I could describe it better. God is so good. We never asked for this or anything. God blessed us by pouring out His smell on us. I haven’t stopped smiling! Thank you Jesus!!